My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me LOGIC -

"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT -

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY -

"Keep crying and I'll "give" you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about STAMINA -

"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER -

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS -

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE -

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -

"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY -

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this

world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

THANKS, Ma! ;)